


Talks with Hope

by Mirach



Series: To pass, and tarry never more [6]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Elrond's condition to Aragorn, F/M, Fatherhood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, POV Elrond, Parent Elrond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 8,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirach/pseuds/Mirach
Summary: Sometimes Elrond talks to the star of Eärendil, shining in the sky as a symbol of hope. Sometimes his Hope is somewhere else.This is a tale about the relationship between Aragorn and Elrond growing and being tested, put into perspective by Elrond's relationship to his own father Eärendil.
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel & Elrond Peredhel, Aragorn | Estel/Arwen Undómiel, Eärendil & Elrond Peredhel
Series: To pass, and tarry never more [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471415
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	1. T.A. 2933

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Rozhovory s nádejou](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470533) by [Mirach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirach/pseuds/Mirach). 



> For the real-time reading experience, each chapter is one day in this story and I will (try to) update it daily. I apologize for some really short chapters that will create. The dates are in the [Reckoning of Rivendell](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/r/reckoningofrivendell.php), since the narrator is Elrond.
> 
> Beta: Cairistiona

How are you doing, father? Are the heavenly winds and currents favourable tonight? Is Tilion being a good travelling companion? And what are you possibly seeing from up there? Are you looking down at us from your star-strewn path, like we are looking up to you from the darkness of Middle-earth?

No answer... You never answer. Maybe you can't even see what is going on down here. Middle-earth is a dark mass of mountain ranges and lowlands under the moonlight to you; the glittering ribbons of rivers and tiny, blinking lights of homesteads, stifled by the surrounding night. And yet I fool myself, thinking that you can recognize one of those lights like I can recognize yours high up in the sky. I fool myself, thinking that your eyes are seeking it like a pilgrim seeks the flame of a candle behind a window during a frosty night. I am here, father; here is my candle.

Can you see my face from the heights? I wish I could see yours in that tiny spark of light! Everything I have is just a blurry memory. We were little then, Elros and me. You came to us in the evening, as we were falling asleep, and sat next to our bed. Quietly you spoke about the evil lords from Thangorodrim and good lords in the West. You spoke about the duty to leave, in order for us to have at least a little hope. We did not understand. We understood that you would leave tomorrow, to go somewhere far away. We did not understand it would be forever. You kissed our brows, and, half-asleep, we heard the creak of the door and your fading steps. So you walked out of our lives.

I cannot see your face. You are just a distant light to me, yet a light in the distance is still better than nothing. It tells me that you are there, perhaps can even see me, too. And I need to confide in someone, father.

I have another son.

Do not look at me like that. You know that Celebrían is my only love, however far she is - as far as you. It's the boy... He is a mortal, and yet a relative - he is the last from Elros's line. You heard that right, the last one. This boy is all that's left from the noble blood of Númenorean kings. The last mortal, carrying the blood of our grandmother Lúthien. Middle-earth is falling under shadow: the noble ones die young.

So was his father killed by a malicious orc arrow fighting for people who don't even know that they should thank the Dúnedain for their peaceful life. I'm afraid that a similar thankless fate awaits this boy. Few from his line have lived into a peaceful old age. I knew them all: Arathorn II and Arador, Argonui and Arathorn I before him... I helped to raise them in the tradition and wisdom of their ancestors. So much wisdom and nobility came for naught, because of a single hit by the Enemy's servants' sabre or arrow!

Yet none of them came to Rivendell at such a tender age and looked at me with such scared, yet trustful eyes. He did not understand that his father would never come back, just as we had not understood it back then. Yet he perceived more than such a little child should. Everything in the Valley was new and strange to him, but behind the excitement of discovery, there was some thoughtful wistfulness. In joy, he used to turn to his mother. But when something saddened him, he turned to me, as if hoping to protect her from grief. There was an empty place left after his father’s death and I filled it, not even knowing how. It must have been like that for Maglor with Elros and me.

It reminded me of the times when Celebrían and I experienced the joys of our children's first steps and words and lived their little pains and victories. I experience it with him now, as well, but...

My son is mortal.

By an arrow or spear, by illness or old age, he will be gone from my life sooner than I would think and will leave me here in my immortality, with an empty place in my heart – the same way as Elros did. I do not want to bear that pain again, father. Once was more than enough. So what am I to do?

No answer. You never answer. Yet, that is an answer, too. Nothing, you say. I can do nothing. And it is your fault! Because of you, we were given the choice: Man or Elf? Mortality or the endless stream of ages? When I was making my choice, I considered that I might see you once again thanks to it. I knew it would bring me pain and I thought I was ready for it. I was not. I am not. But I shall not abandon him like you have abandoned us.

His name is Estel.


	2. T.A. 2951

Ah, there you are. I have been waiting for you. Gil-Estel, the first star in the evening sky... Evenstar and Estel, heh. But his true name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. And he fell in love with her. I have seen it in his eyes, even before he dared to mention it to me. Ah, those children... You were right to leave. You avoided such problems... (although I dare to claim that you would not have them with me.) Wouldn't you like to trade places just for a while? I would watch from a distance and you would solve this instead of me. What do you say?

No, I have not been drinking. Alright, but only one bottle. Of Dorwinion. So tell me, what should I do? She is my treasure, and he... he is still so young and naïve! Hot-blooded! Reckless... noble... self-sacrificing... understanding... I wish he was born into better times! He would be such a good king ...

Why didn’t Arwen just stay in Lorien? This is making it even harder! To all the trials that await him, she added the unrequited love of an unattainable woman! No, it's not her fault. She couldn't know he was going to fall in love with her. And I can't imagine my daughter returning the love of a mortal.  
I can, actually, but I don't want to. The consequences would be too painful.

The Third age is coming to an end, so I foresee it with the sight inherited from Melian of the divine race. I will have to leave, but Aragorn is the one who shall restore her bloodline among the mortals... or fall and end it. A heavy burden lies on his shoulders and I must help him to fulfil his destiny, even if my heart speaks differently.  
  
I'd like so much to give him a happy life here, safe from the Shadow. But before this Age ends, the Shadow shall reach far and the safety of Imladris will pass away. Had his heart not turned to Arwen, I would be pleased if he found a mortal woman who would love him and give him an heir of Elros's blood. But then the deeds that await him would not come to pass, forgotten in the care for a family. He can’t be double-minded when their time comes.

So I had to give a condition that would deny it to him and send him into great toil and danger. Yet I have not told him anything that isn’t already in his heart. He, too, feels that he can do great deeds, and therefore he is obliged to do them.  
  
So I told him. I told him he shall not tie his fate to that of any woman until he was worthy of it. How simple, isn't it? That’s how he accepted the condition, as a challenge. But what does it mean to be worthy? He knows well that the Stewards of Gondor are no longer awaiting the king's return, and that the dark power that is waking will not cease while a stone remains standing in the Stone Land. Nothing is impossible for those who are young and in love. But I am afraid I have given him an impossible task.  
  
What if he fails? All it takes is one stray arrow, one wrong step. That option fills me with a cold dread. If he fails, the line of Elros will end. Aragorn will be the last, without an heir, and it will be my fault. How do I then look into your eyes when I finally leave for the West? Forgive me, Father. I couldn't have acted differently.  
  
Aragorn is leaving tomorrow, and I know I won't see him for a long time. Cheers, Father! It seems one bottle wasn't enough...


	3. T.A. 2980, Mettarë

It's been almost thirty years. For that long he has been gone, trying to fulfill my condition and his destiny. For that long he has wandered Middle-earth and did deeds of surpassing valour openly as well as in secret. He served Rohan and Gondor and fought for them in many battles. His footsteps led to Harad and Rhûn, passed over deserts and plains. He even set foot on the moaning, ravaged land of Mordor to study the plans of the Enemy. A hot-blooded, reckless, noble, self-sacrificing fool!  
  
Have you seen him there? If I knew what dangers he had faced all alone, my hair would go grey with worry! But he didn't mention it in his letters, would you believe that? If a letter managed to reach the north, it was along the lines of "I am well, the weather is warmer than home, greetings to everyone.”  
  
Only today did Galadriel tell me about it through the bond that is between our minds, strengthened by the Rings we guard. And she said something else to me, too.  
  
Aragorn and Arwen got betrothed.  
  
My daughter did return his love, after all. Maybe she didn't even know when she first met him in Rivendell. His love was sudden and clear, but hers was just a seed that germinated slowly. So slowly I didn't even notice... until it blossomed under his gaze when they met again.  
  
An Elven maid and a Mortal... Doesn't that remind you of something? Like Beren and Lúthien, right? And I have to take on the ungrateful role of Thingol. I don't want to lose them both! I have already reconciled with the fact that Estel is mortal, if something like that is possible at all. But Arwen.... If she stays in Middle-earth after I leave, she will also become mortal. Never before have I considered that option. I always thought that when this Age ended, we would sail from Grey Havens to the West, my children and I. There, Celebrían is already waiting for us and we will be a family again.  
  
I already have to leave one son on this shore, how should I leave my beloved daughter here as well? It hurts, Father. The thought breaks my heart. Did you also feel that way when you left us behind in Middle-earth?  
  
I don't know what to think. Why are they doing this to me? Should I be angry? Disappointed? Should I rejoice or mourn? Should I be angry with him or with her? I do not know! I look at the stars and try to sort my thoughts. No, I can't. I already asked before, but... wouldn’t you like to trade places?


	4. T.A. 2980, 1. Lairë

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to keep the "1 chapter = 1 day" rule here, but these chapters are really short, so I'll post a few in the same time.

I am angry. With him. If he really loves her, how could he allow it? He knows how uncertain is his fate, and yet allowed her to tie her life to his! He knows that it means mortality for her, that he will tear her away from eternal life and from her family! He knows that if Arwen stays with him, she will never see her mother again! Eternal parting, for her and for me! How could he?  
  
She promised her hand to him and he accepted the promise! Without my knowledge! Does he consider my condition to be fulfilled already? Does he think he is worthy of her now after all his deeds? And if he did, he should have at least asked me. He should have waited until they were both here in Imladris! You disappointed me, Estel. I accepted you as my own and you took my daughter from me... Just you wait, I’ll show you what I think when you come home!  
  



	5. T.A. 2980, 15. Lairë

He hasn't come home yet. The journey from Lórien to Rivendell is nearly 200 miles long. Elladan and Elrohir can beat it in ten days if they hurry, and his stride is just as long and fast. But he had to cross the mountains and they can be treacherous. If he was caught by bad weather, he might have lost a few days. He should be here by now. Is he afraid of my anger? He is the one who caused it. If he is a man, he will have the courage to face the consequences of his actions. I am waiting...


	6. T.A. 2980, 16. Lairë

Nothing still. No, Estel is not a coward. He never was. He would not be late for the fear of my anger. Something else had to delay him. But what? I hope nothing happened to him...  
  



	7. T.A. 2980, 19. Lairë

Oh, if you could just tell me what you see from up there! I sent patrols to look for him, but the land between Rivendell and Lórien is too wide and ranging. If at least I knew which pass across the mountains he took... You see him, don't you? You know where he is and what delayed him. And you won't tell me anything... You can't, I know. I wish you could get down from the sky and answer my questions! I'm afraid, Father. What if something happened to him? What if he's somewhere in the wilderness, alone and hurt? I know he can take care of himself, but what if? An evil chance can trip even the feet of one who has the most secure step. The mountain passes are treacherous and the Orcs ever more daring, now that Sauron has settled in Mordor again. When I think it's the same route where Celebrían... no, I don't want to think about it. An icy hand clutches my heart with that memory. Surely Estel will soon show up, and then I'll be able to scold him for the betrothal, as well as for the delay. He surely knows that we're waiting for him.


	8. T.A. 2980, 20. Lairë

I'm angry… but only with myself. I gave him that condition, nobody else. I drove him into danger and loneliness. I regret it, although I couldn't do anything differently.  
  
He has already proven that his love is true and unwavering. Almost thirty years... That’s half of their lifetime for some mortals. In that time, he could have forgotten her and turned his eyes to any other woman in Rohan or Gondor. But he remained faithful to her.  
  
The decision that Arwen made was hers to make. Not mine or his. Who else should judge whether he is worthy of her? In vain I am angry that he accepted her decision. She had the right to decide, and she did. She promised her hand to him. Although I am her father, I cannot order her heart.  
  
Galadriel was there and allowed it to happen. I suspect she even helped it. If she saw that Aragorn was worthy of my daughter and her granddaughter, then I can be sure that it is so. Galadriel from the house of Finarfin can read people's hearts and minds. Even now I clearly remember her look boring into me when I asked for her daughter's hand...  
  
Could they have waited and asked for my permission? I do not know. I wasn't there and I don't know his heart after so many years. I haven't seen him for so long, and to Arwen, it must have seemed even longer. But what about him? The time of our waiting - that’s a sip of water in the sea of time. But he holds a cup in his hand, which can be drunk in a few sips. It’s been too long. How did those years change him? What if Estel started to lose hope? Arwen is our daughter and we have raised her well, Celebrían and I. There is wisdom, compassion, and tenderness in her. If she made the decision, then I know it was the best one she could make for both of them, though she knew it would grieve me. They couldn't wait any longer. The promise may have given new strength not only to him but also to her. Only for me, it has the bitter taste of a farewell.  
  
A grief that can no longer be avoided is my fate. The Third Age is coming to an end, and there will be no place for my people in the Fourth one. If Aragorn dies and the Fourth Age shall be the Age of Shadow, we will leave to the West with grief in our hearts, Arwen and I.  
  
But if he passes all the trials comes out victorious and the Fourth Age belong to Men, then a painful leave-taking from both of them awaits me. He would be a good king and they would be happy. For a short time, one human life. And I? I'd leave with a broken heart. But if it is to be the price of my children's happiness, then I will pay it - only then. That is my condition. My daughter's hand will belong only to the king of Gondor and Arnor. Am I asking too much as a weregild for my grief? Am I not shortening the time they have together? Do I have the right to impose such a high condition?

At least give me and advice, Father! Your leave-taking was worth it, in the end, wasn't it? It was a price for the defeat of Morgoth. But back then, when we had listened to your retreating steps, you had not known it. Was your uncertainty the same as mine? Or did you just feel determined and did not admit that you might fail? No, I don't think so. I can't find that determination in myself and I have your blood and blood of Lúthien... and of her father Thingol.  
  
I am bothered by doubts, Father. Time is passing. I do not want to destroy the hope of my children for happiness.  
  
Time is passing ...  
  
So where are you, Estel? I'm not angry. Not anymore. Please, come home.  
  



	9. T.A. 2980, 21. Lairë

Nothing.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
No news. No returning steps.  
  
Even if something has delayed him, he should have been here already. Something had to have happened to him. All patrols search the roads and passes between Rivendell and Lórien. I sent a message to the Dúnedain. Still I would best like to saddle a horse and set out to look for him. But what if he comes and I'm not here?  
  
No, I have to stay here and wait. I can't do anything, even if I want it so much. That’s how you feel, watching the tragedies of Middle-earth from your high route between the stars?  
  
More and more I have to think about what happened to Celebrían on the same way. I’m afraid. The fear clenches my gut and I can't think of anything else. One who doesn't have children will never understand what a real fear is ...  
  



	10. T.A. 2980, 22. Lairë

What if he was captured by Orcs? What if they are torturing him somewhere in the dark while I am idling here? What if he fell into a gorge in the mountains? What if he is lying wounded on its bottom and hopes that someone shall come to his aid? What if he was hit by a stone thrown by the rock giants? What if trolls attacked him during the night?  
  



	11. T.A. 2980, 23. Lairë

What if... he's dead?


	12. T.A. 2980, 24. Lairë

He lives.

He's home. Sleeping.

And I'm sitting in a chair by the window, looking at the stars. I almost lost him, and my heart is still trembling, although it’s light with relief.

He was on the verge of his strength when patrol spotted him at the border of the Valley. Injured and alone he passed the many miles between Moria and Imladris.

Moria.

When he spoke the word, there was some nameless dread in it. It would never have occurred to me that he would take that forgotten way. But Lórien is too close to Dol Guldur. Warg-riders have been sneaking beyond the boundaries of the magical forest where the protective power of Galadriel does not reach. He managed to kill three of them and escape - into the darkness of Moria.

He told me about it in a voice obscured with pain as I was cleaning a deep wound on his leg. One of the Wargs has bitten him. He did what he could, but some injuries can’t be treated without the appropriate tinctures and instruments, and those from Warg teeth almost always get inflamed and fester. They don’t heal well even when the wounded can stay in bed, and he still had a long way to go, with every step jarring the wound.

That’s what he managed to tell me before the words got stuck behind clenched teeth. Such is the lot of us healers: sometimes the path to healing leads only through the pain that we must cause. It is never easy, even after countless years.

But even then, when I made the last knot on the bandage and both of us breathed a sigh of relief, he didn't want to tell me more about his journey through the darkness of Moria. While I was treating the other wounds and scratches, he told me how he had found its eastern door and escaped his pursuers. The words were already getting muddled with fatigue, but he also briefly described his journey from Hollin to Rivendell. But in Moria, there is some dark memory he doesn't want to talk about. I am worried about what lies behind his silence. Just the idea of a long desperate wandering in the labyrinth of corridors and halls without light and without the certainty that he will see the light of day ever again makes me feel dread. But in those unspoken words, some nameless evil lurks.

Did you watch him from your celestial path? If so, he disappeared from your sight in Moria, too. Did you also worry, like me? Or am I just imagining it, and you're not watching at all, just passing above the dark mass of Middle-earth every night, oblivious. Sometimes I think that and am bitter at you for it... and sometimes it is enough to know that you are up there somewhere. In the same way, it’s enough for me that Estel is safe today. Nothing else matters.


	13. T.A. 2980, 25. Lairë

Your star just rose over the western precipice of the valley and I'm still sitting here. Lady Gilraen was in my place during the day, but she went to rest and the night belongs to me. Where else should I be?

He's still asleep. He had to reach the very bottom of his strength to cover the miles of the way to Imladris. And it wasn't for the first time that he has had to reach there. I saw many scars when treating his wounds. They talk about how much pain and danger he has experienced in the time I didn't see him. Some of them are telling a scary story: how little was missing and I would wait for his return in vain. He spilled a lot of blood while trying to fulfill its destiny... and there will be more of it.

I wish I could sail to the West like you and ask the Powers for a host against Sauron! Instead, the freedom of Middle-earth must be bought by the pain of my children.

Oh, he's waking up already ...

"Fa... Father?"

"I'm here, Estel."

"Why... ehm ..."

"Wait, drink. Here."

"Thank you. But why?"

"I do not understand. Why what?"

"Why are you here. As if nothing happened... Me and Arwen... Forgive... "

"Arwen is my daughter -"

"Forgive me, please. I never wanted to stand between you. "

"I know. Let me talk. Arwen is my daughter and you are my son. I haven't seen you for a long time... and then you come home in such a state. I've missed you. I was worried about you. So where else should I be? We'll talk about Arwen later. Now, just for a while, I would like to enjoy seeing you again and forget the shadow between us. "

"Just for a while... Yes, that would be nice. I also missed you. And how is my mother? "

"She's worried, of course. She went to rest now, but we'll chase away the worries in the morning. So let me see now, that bandage has to be replaced and then you have to eat something. You weren't this thin when you left. "

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you..."

"You don't have to thank me for something like that."

"Thank you that I can come home."

"Why couldn't you come?"

"I thought I'd come back to Rivendell, but I didn't believe it would still be my home."

"It will always be while I am here."


	14. T.A. 2980, 28. Lairë

To forget the shadow between us just for a while... But the while couldn't last forever. The talk is behind us. It wasn't easy for him or for me, but we couldn't pretend that everything was fine any longer. In my heart there is a deep sorrow and his heart there is guilt for inadvertently causing it. It was hard to find the right words.

That is why I’m now looking for the light of your star again. In a sea of uncertainty, it is a solid point I can lean on. Gil Estel, Star of Hope ...

Now we understand each other, Estel and I. I understand his enamoured heart and he understands my condition. He understands what I foresaw long ago - that this Age will end soon, and within his lifetime, Middle-earth will either be free or fall into a great shadow, and he can't be divided in that fight by the care for a family. We both understand that his victory shall mean a sorrowful parting for me, but for the happiness of my children, I will pay that price - for nothing less. If Sauron wins, there will be no happiness for them. There will be no happiness on this shore every again. That is my condition - to assure that there is a future in which my daughter can be free in Middle-earth. 

We won't talk about it anymore. It is of no use to jar the wounds for which there is no cure on this shore. There remains a shadow between us, but also love.

There are still many trials and toil of many dark roads ahead of him, separating him from the fulfillment of my condition. May your light lead him when hope is but a distant vision!


	15. T.A. 3018, 5. Hrivë

They left at dusk. Leavetaking again... How many times have I stood in front of the house and watched his tall figure disappear into the morning mist or into the dusk? But this farewell was different and we both knew it. My son left to meet his destiny today and will never return home. Either he lays down his life in the protection of our little, secret hope in the hands of the Halfling, or comes out of the struggles victorious, and the seat of kings in Minas Tirith shall become his rightful home.

All the toil and renunciation led to this moment, to this quest that will decide the fate of Middle-earth. Before the Company left, I watched him sitting with his head bowed to his knees. His shoulders were hunched over by the fatigue of many years and the burden of the task he had taken on them. This is the last of the roads, the last great effort. Now it will be decided whether the years of toil will bear fruit or be in vain. Now it will be decided whether Arwen’s hand will be his or if my daughter shall pass with me into the Undying Lands in grief.

But however this age ends, I'm proud of you, my son.


	16. T.A. 3019, 54. Hrivë

What do you see from your ship in the sky, Eärendil? I can't sleep today. Evil premonitions fill my mind. As if an impenetrable darkness deep within the bowels of the earth would crush me with its weight. My heart is clenched in a cold, bony hand of fear. In my mind I hear the words of a long dead prophet and suddenly I know what they are talking about. The Paths of the Dead... Terror lies on that road, yet it is the only one that leads to hope.

There is still light in Arwen's window, too. She’s embroidering the royal flag. The image of a white tree with a crown and seven stars says what we both know. Aragorn is worthy of her hand and of the royal crown. But fate is not only in his hands. Many forces are moving in Middle-earth and many have to fulfill their purpose, big or small, to save it. The hour comes when hope is fulfilled or all hope fades. Whatever happens, for my daughter he already is a king. As to a king she will give him her hand, or grieve for him forever. The flag rightfully belongs to him and shall give him the courage when it unfurls above his head proudly.

He will need that courage. He still does not know in what darkness the white tree under the seven stars shall shine when it first unfurls. Just a moment longer he can rest in the leeward of Lórien, but the storm that will change this world is beginning to rage outside. His heart, however, is heavy, as is the burden on his shoulders. So Galadriel told me, and she can read in the hearts and minds. Gandalf fell in Moria. Moria again, and the horror that lurks in it! A balrog of Morgoth... was that the evil memory he didn't want to talk about? Maybe he felt its presence even then, as a nameless lurking evil, though he didn't see it. Cursed be Moria and the greed of the Dwarves who were mining too deep! Now both the need of Gondor and the protection of the One who carries the Ring lies on my son’s shoulders, and such burden is too heavy for one Mortal, though he is from the line of Lúthien. He will need help, even if he doesn't ask for it, Galadriel said, and I know what she meant.

Tomorrow I will send my sons to the Dúnedain with a message that their Chieftain needs his relatives. They will bring Arwen's banner to him as a reminder from the one who has promised herself to him and who believes in him. But I will give Elladan and Elrohir something else to pass to him, so that he knows that his father believes in him, too. Elendilmir, the royal symbol of Arnor. The Chieftains of the Dúnedain wore it in secret, only among their own people. Now the time has come for him to bind it on his forehead openly when he goes to war. But the hardest battle he will have to fight is in his mind. The Dead are waiting. 


	17. T.A. 3019, 23. Coirë

Oh, Father, what do you see? So many times I've wanted to know! But if I could only choose one time to get an answer to my question, it would be today. Today, when my Ring has lost its power. When a great evil passed - the change is felt throughout the Middle-earth. The power of the rings is gone, and the age of the Elves ends with it. The spell fades and the inexorable flow of time flushes it away. So I will have to leave soon, as well.  
  
But what about Arwen? What about Aragorn? The Evil has passed, what was the cost of defeating Sauron? I know Estel would have sacrificed his life to give hope to Middle-earth. I saw the nobility in him when I gave him that name. That's why I'm scared. I'd like to have Arwen by my side as I step into the West Shore so much, but not at that price. What do you see, Father?  
  
"Father?"  
  
"Arwen! I didn't hear you come in... "  
  
"Eärendil is bright today."  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
"Does it help? Talking to him when you know he won't answer you? "  
  
"I don't know. Maybe a bit. Most of the time it soothes me and helps me to sort my thoughts, but today it is not so. ”  
  
"I'm afraid, Father."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Can I watch with you?"  
  
"Come here, little one ..."  
  
"I'm not little anymore."  
  
"But you will always be my daughter."  
  
So I hold her in my embrace and together we are watching your light. It helps a little.  
  
Suddenly someone knocks.  
  
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Master Elrond. May I come in?”  
  
"Oh, it’s you, Bilbo? Of course, join us. "

"I just... there's such a strange change in the air. It is easier to breathe somehow, but it seems to me that the colors in the valley have faded. I don't know if it's in any way related, but... do you happen to have news of Frodo? "  
  
“I’m sorry, Bilbo. I think you're right, but I don't have any news. "  
  
"Um, it doesn't matter. He'll take care of himself. He's got Took blood in him, you know? Sorry to disturb you. I just couldn't sleep, and I heard you were up, too. "  
  
"Oh, no, you're not disturbing. Would you like to look at the stars with us? There is the bright Eärendil.”  
  
"Oh, indeed. Your father... Do you really not mind the song I wrote about him? Dúnadan told me that if I had the cheek to make verses about Eärendil in your house, it was my affair. He just wanted to put in the green stone... "  
  
"Elessar."  
  
"Yes, that's the name! Thank you for reminding me, Lady Arwen. He told it to me then, but I couldn't put it into a rhyme, so I almost forgot it.”  
  
“Yes, Elessar. It is true that my relationship with my father is a bit complicated, but the song really didn't bother me, dear Bilbo. On the contrary, I think I'd like to hear it once again, if it doesn't bother you."  
  
"Are you serious? Sure, I will be happy to answer you if you don't just ask as a courtesy. I know that my verses cannot compare to those by the local minstrels. "  
  
"No, it's not just a courtesy from my father. I'd like to hear it too, Bilbo. It's a nice memory of a nice evening. It reminds me… of Elessar. "  
  
“And me of Frodo. He fell asleep and thought the song a continuation of his dream, would you believe it?”  
  



	18. T.A. 3019, 5. Tuilë

This is Arwen's last night in the Last Homely House. It didn’t pass without tears, although a new home shared with her beloved is waiting for her at the end of the journey we are starting tomorrow. Leavetaking is always hard, even if the uncertainty has passed. I am also taking leave of the Imladris I know, although I will return here - for a little while before the grey ship is ready. That familiar house will never again be homely to me. Its walls shall be cold and grey, even with fire burning in the hearth. The Evenstar won’t live in it anymore.


	19. T.A. 3019, Mettarë

Our daughter got married today, Celebrían. I'm looking at my father's star, but I'm talking to you. Maybe Eärendil will tell you what he saw when his white ship sinks towards the Western shore. I wish you could be here so much.

She was beautiful, just like you on the day of our wedding. She shone. It's been so long since I've seen her so happy! And him... oh, I wish you could have seen him! I'm afraid I'll bring you sorrow with the news that our daughter married a mortal man when I see you again. I'm afraid I won't be able to find the right words to express the change in him. I was astonished myself, because, although outwardly almost unchanged, I suddenly saw a powerful King of Men, wise and noble. For many years he's been carrying a burden that would break many others and now it has fallen from his shoulders. I saw then that I was right when I've foretold the greatness of his deeds, yet the truth surpassed my foreboding.

Today is a happy day, Celebrían! The shadow of grief of eternal separation lies over it, yet my heart is filled to the brim with bitter-sweet joy. I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a mortal for a while, and suddenly I understand the choice of Elros. It is the certainty of their end that makes these days fuller, the joy more joyful and the happiness sweeter. I know they will not last forever, so I enjoy them with full draughts, and store every moment in my memory as a precious gem I will gift you when I see you again.

I don't pity Arwen for staying at this shore. Now I know she'll be happy here. She shall live a mortal life with the certainty of bitter leavetaking, yet days will be full of taste and spark like a sip of strong wine. In my mind's eye, I see her sitting on Estel's side under the flowering White Tree, with a baby in her arms. It shall be a son, and after him daughters with eyes as grey as twilight. Our grandchildren, my beloved.

Time will come for pitying myself, but it is not yet. Today I only regret that you couldn't be here with me. Galadriel stood in your place as the mother of the bride, and I stood where I had stepped many years ago - in Arathorn's place as the father of the groom. So, we joined their hands and called upon Varda and Manwë to bless their marriage. Do you remember how Glorfindel once put my hand in yours? My father couldn't be at our wedding, even though his star shone exceptionally bright that night - just like today.

Then came the time for gifts. The groom's father should give a gift to the bride and the bride's mother to the groom. I gave Arwen those grey pearls from Eärwen, which you wanted her to get on her wedding day. Your mother wore them on her journey across Helcaraxë, and so our daughter can at least have a little piece of Valinor where she will never set foot. It's a pity you won't see her with them. Galadriel has given her gift in advance. It was the Elessar, shining on Aragorn's chest today like the sun shining through the young beechen leaves when the world was still young. So it once shone on Eärendil's chest as he sailed to the West. Mithrandir gave it to the Lady of Lórien when he came from the Blessed Realm. He said when the time is right, I shall understand why it was she who got my father's jewel.

Now I understand. She got it so that one day, she could give it to her daughter, and she to hers. You left it to Arwen before you left for the West so that it could serve its purpose. And she sent it back to Galadriel, because she is the one standing in your place. But the gift is from you, beloved! A gift for the groom from the bride's mother, according to the ancient custom of our people, even though you didn't know who the groom shall be. So you're here with me today, in spirit at least...


	20. T.A. 3019, 14. Yavië

Clouds cover the sky tonight. The Evenstar has set for me and I will never see her again. I don't even see you, Gil-Estel. Darkness, darkness in the sky and in my heart! The bitterness of farewell until the end of time!

With dignity we have escorted the King of Rohan into his cairn, and I feel as if my heart lay beneath its heavy stones too. The too-short days of happiness ended, and the time of regret came. I left to the hills with Arwen, so that the last moments only belonged to us. Passionate words and hot tears fell on the stony ground of the Rohan Hills. I held her silently in my arms for a long while, as the wind played with her hair and the clouds floated across the grey sky.

"Give my greetings to mother," she told me.

"I will. Be well, little one," I replied and tried to smile, though tears came to my eyes.

"Namárië..."

That was our last goodbye. I'll never see her again. I'll never hear her sweet voice again. I'll never hold her in my arms again. The separation between us will be until the end of time. I chose the fate of the Eldar, tied to Arda, but she will become mortal and follow Aragorn beyond the Circles of the World.

Arwen vanimelda, namárië! All the lights have gone out for me today...

"Father."

...

"Father? Please say something... "

"Why are you here, Estel? You should be with her... "

"Éowyn is with her and a lifetime ahead of. We agreed with Arwen that my place is here."

"We both knew this day would come."

"Still it hurts..."

"No, Estel, don't worry for me. There has been enough suffering. You have many happy years ahead of you. "

"Can't you stay? Please... You could live those happy years with us and then take Arwen to the West where her grief would heal."

"I wish I could... But I was the guardian of one of the three Rings, and there is no place for me in the Fourth Age. The West is calling me and won't let me stay in Middle-earth. This farewell was given since you first saw Arwen among the birches of Imladris. "

"I was so young and naive then. I thought I could achieve anything... "

"And you did."

"No. I couldn't save you from this grief. "

"If you think you could have, then you're still as naive."

"I'm sorry, anyway. Should I leave?"

"No, don't go. The stars are not shining today. Stay here with me, Estel."


	21. T.A. 3019, 22. Yavië

Farewell, Estel! Be happy with my daughter. Eärendil shone upon the hour of our parting. He hurried to the sky today to appear next to the setting sun, crowning you with golden light. Elessar shone in your hand like a green flame. That's how I'll remember you when my father's star leads my ship to the West.

I will also remember the little boy whose innocent, trusting eyes found a way to my heart. I will remember his tiny mischiefs and childish laughter, sounding in Imladris again after a long time. I'll remember the young man who fell in love with my daughter and thought nothing was impossible. I will also remember the grim ranger, bent with the weariness of long and hard roads, whose smile was like a rare glimmer of sun among the dark clouds. I will remember the king who has passed many trials and fulfilled his destiny.

The memory of you will go with me to the Undying Lands, and there it will live forever, even when here in Middle-earth your bones will long rest in the stone tomb of your ancestors, and your name will only be a legend from songs.

Eärendil is shining bright today, but you have surpassed him. You are the Hope that shines at the beginning of the Fourth Age.

Farewell, my son!


	22. F.A. 1

The waves of the Sundering Sea crash into the prow of the grey ship and rock it gently on her far journey. Eärendil's star shows her a straight way into the lost West. The star shines in the sky right ahead of us, yet I feel like I'm leaving hope behind.

Once again, I will be able to hold Celebrían in my arms, but I don't know how to tell her that she'll never see her daughter again. Gil-Estel is closer than ever, and yet I have nothing to say to him. I stayed alone with my thoughts.

The salty spray of waves springs to the deck. I can already hear the call of the seagulls. I can now see the white shore. The sun rises and the tops of white towers in the distance shine gold with its first rays. The star touched the grey sea and became a shining ship without sails and oars.

I can see people on the shore, welcoming our ship. The sea of faces blurs in front of my eyes and I can't find the one I am looking for among them. The ship docked; the wooden bridge dropped to the pier. Who shall first set foot upon the soil of the Blessed Realm?

As if we were all of one mind, we part to let Frodo and Bilbo pass. Mithrandir accompanies them with Shadowfax by his side, and encourages them to enter the land, which may become a home to those who no longer have a place in the Middle-earth - for the Ring Bearers.

Círdan's old eyes sparkle with childlike amazement when he walks over the bridge. So many ships he has seen off from the Grey Havens, but today he can see their destination with his own eyes for the first time.

I feel the presence of Powers. Manwë and Varda themselves came to welcome the hobbits. Mithrandir - Olórin - kneels before his master, but Manwë lifts him and smiles. Ulmo, the Lord of the Waters, welcomes his devout servant Círdan. Even Shadowfax is greeted by the neighing of his ancient ancestor Nahar.

We are alone on board now - Galadriel and me. We hesitate. Both of us left a part of our heart behind, in Middle-earth. She smiles at me sadly and squeezes my hand. Then she steps on the bridge, both determined and humble. So a Lady of Noldor returns home after a long exile. She left with pride and returns with wisdom. She bows to her father Finarfin and begs him for forgiveness. But he embraces her, and after him others - they must be her mother and brother Finrod with Amárië. And someone else is there, too. Her silver hair shines like morning dew on the petals of niphredil. Celebrían falls into her mother's arms and then asks her something, looking at the grey ship.

I can't hesitate anymore. I don't even see the bridge nor the ground under my feet. The next thing I perceive is holding her in my arms again. My Celebrían! Real, healthy, with a spark in her eyes and a blush on her cheeks! My silver lady, my love! I embrace her without words. May this moment last as long as possible! But the thought of what I have to tell her is increasingly insistent. Soon she may interrupt the embrace and seek Arwen with her eyes... I withdraw first.

"Forgive me, love ..."

"Shh, I know," she puts a gentle finger to my lips.

"You know about...?"

"About Arwen and Estel. Don't worry, dear. You don't have to explain anything to me. Your father told me everything. My heart grieves for Arwen, but most of all I want her to be happy. And I'm finally happy as well today, because I have you. "

"My love..." I have no words. My throat is constricted with emotion.

"Come on, someone else is waiting for you."

She takes my hand and leads to the shining ship. My mother stands there, looking just like I remember her from the happier times at the Havens of Sirion. I also remember the horror and loss I felt when she threw herself into the depths of the sea with a jewel on her chest. But now she smiles, though her smile is uncertain. Next to her stands a man I only remember dimly, in fragments of childhood memories. Now that he's so close, I almost long for the distant star I could confide into at any time.

There is a moment of embarrassed silence, but Celebrían bridges the distance between us without hesitation:

"Father, mother, your son has come home!"

Their smile is wider. They delight in her joy. By marrying me, she became their daughter, and in such a way they welcomed her when she arrived on this shore. It's been them who helped her find healing.

They speak at the same time.

"Welcome..." Elwing says.

"Forgive me..." says Eärendil.

I don't say anything. I just come closer and take them both by hand. We still have a long way to go. There are many unspoken words and old hurts. But now we can take the first step. I have my parents again. It's a strange feeling. I look in the face of my father and seek for something that would remind me of the star I used to confide in in the most difficult moments.

"I used to talk to you when I watched your star in the sky. I would just like to know something. Did you... Did you watch me, too? "

"I watched every night."

"Oh... I feared I was just imagining it and only talking to myself."

"I always watched, but I couldn't do anything else. I can never again set foot in the land that I see from my ship every night. Only my light can get there. "

"The light means hope to Middle-earth."

"And to you?"

"I guess so, once. But now my Hope has stayed in Middle-earth."

"Mine has been staying there for ages, too. But now it finally came true. Welcome home, my son."


End file.
